Words to Annoy People
1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 300%, extra dark, 11x17 inch paper, 999 copies.
2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it with your pen while talking to others.
3. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
4. Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think."
5. Practice making fax and modem noises.
6. Highlight irrelevant material in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.
7. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
8. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
9. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the cartridge across the room.
10. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
12. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
13. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
14. Honk and wave to strangers.
15. Call Everybody in the office Mike , regardless of gender.
16. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
17. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
18. TyPE iN a MiXtuRe of Both UppERCasE and LoWerCase.
19. Dont use any punctuation either as this really wont make sentences easier to read especially if they are long and complex like this one
20. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. Videotape the outcome.
21. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
22. As much as possible, skip rather than walk - occasionally run through the corridors of your office.
23. Try playing the William Tell Overture (The Lone Ranger Theme) by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
24. Play with your mobile ringtones go through them all in turn, playing them in full and repeat.
25. Ask people what gender they are, even if they are wearing a skirt !
26. Roll up tiny bits of paper, pretend to pick your nose and then flick the paper across the room - preferable at something which will make a sound.
27. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
28. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
29. Display a huge fear of the Fax machine.
30. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
31. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble the answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
32. Sleep at your desk and when woken say " Oh, I did some work at home last night - I'm just catching up on the sleep I missed ! "
33. Sing the same song over and over only using the words "La La La"
34. When E-mailing CC random people on replies, even if you don't know them.