Site Links

Home Page


Page Links
Joke Categories

  Tommy Cooper

Like Tommy Cooper
  Groucho Marx
  Spike Milligan
  George Carlin
  Confucius Says
  Pick Up Lines
Funny Philosophy
How to Annoy People
Medical Definitions
Top 10 Things
The Rules
Corportate Language
Computer Terms
Job Descriptions
  Signs & Notices
  Business Quotes
  Problems & People
  Womens' Quotes
  George Bush Quotes
  Physics 101
  Life Instructions
  Life's Lessons
  Life Thoughts

  Funny Sayings

  Funny Q & A
  Funny Q & A Page 2
  Funny Q & A Page 3

  Funny Quote

  Various Comedians
  One Liners
  One Liners 2
Clever One Liners
  Bumper Stickers
  Bumper Stickers 2
Quote Links


Copyright © 2004 StevenRedhead.Com All rights reserved



Clean Fun

Funny Computer Terms

• Log on - Make the wood stove hotta.

• Log off - Don't add no more wood.

• Monitor - Keep an eye on that wood stove.

• Download - Getting the firewood off the truck.

• Floppy disk - What you get from trying to carry too much firewood.

• Ram - The thing that split that firewood.

• Hard drive - Getting home in the winter.

• Prompt - What the mail ain't during the winter.

• Window - What to shut when it's cold outside.

• Screen - What to shut during black fly season.

• Screen saver - Duct tape for the torn window screen.

• Byte - What the black flies do.

• Bit - What the black flies did.

• Megabyte - What the BIG black flies do during trout season.

• Chip - Munchies for TV.

• Microchip - The crumbs in the bag after you've eaten the chips.

• Modem - What you did to the weeds growing in the driveway.

• Dot matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife.

• Lap top - Where the beer spills when you pass out.

• Software - The dumb plastic knives and forks they give you at McDonalds.

• Hardware - Real stainless steel cutlery.

• Mouse - What makes the holes in the Cheerios box.

• Main frame - What holds the house up, hopefully.

• Enter - The only way to win those magazine ad sweepstakes.

• Web - What a spida makes.

• Web site - What's found in the corners of high ceilings.

• Cursor - Someone who swears.

• Search engine - What you do when the caa dies.

• Home page - Map you keep in your back pocket in case you get lost in the woods.

• Upgrade - Steep hill.

• Server - Waitress.

• Mail server - Male waitress, damn few in Maine.

• Sound card - One of them technological birthday cards that plays music when you open it.

• User - The neighbor who keeps borrowing stuff.

• Browser - A problem moose in the garden or blueberry patch.

• Network - Mending holes in the fishnet.

• Internet - Complicated fishnet repair method.

• Netscape - What haddock do when you don't do your network.

• Online - Good sign there'll be clean clothes this week.

• Offline - The clothespins let go and the laundry falls to the ground.

Redneck Computer Terms!

• BACKUP - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods.

• BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern.

• BUG - The reason you give for calling in sick.

• BYTE - What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro.

• CACHE - Needed when you run out of food stamps.

• CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in.

• TERMINAL - Time to call the undertaker.

• CRASH - When you go to Junior's party uninvited.

• DIGITAL - The art of counting on your fingers.

• DISKETTE - Female Disco dancer.

• FAX - What you lie about to the IRS.

• HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking.

• HARDCOPY - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos.

• INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put their hair.

• KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.

• MAC - Big Bubba's favorite fast food.

• MEGAHERTZ - How your head feels after 17 beers.

• MODEM - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall.

• MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and Minnie live.

• NETWORK - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line.

• ONLINE - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test.

• ROM - Where the Pope lives.

• SCREEN - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch.

• SERIAL PORT - A red wine you drink with breakfast.

• SUPERCONDUCTOR - Amtrak's Employee of the year.

• SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear.