Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
If you don't control your mind, someone else will.
Some men rob you with a six-gun -- others with a fountain pen.
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
If I Promise to miss you. Will you go away?
We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.
Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.
The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutang trying to play the violin.
But I wasn't kissing her. I was whispering into her mouth.
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
The husband who doesn't tell his wife everything probably reasons that what she doesn't know won't hurt him.
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow.
Minds are like parachutes, they only function when open.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
Ask an impertinent question and you are on the way to the pertinent answer.
Simple and to the point is always the best way to get your point across.
Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant.
Internationalism does not mean the end of individual nations. Orchestras don't mean the end of violins.
Power attracts the corruptible. Suspect any who seek it.